Thing that turn men on?

Yesterday I had absolutely nothing to do at work ( In fact I did, just didn't feel like doing anything:) so was searching on the internet for some funny shit.
On one of the Russian websites I found and "extraordinary" article: " Totally unexpected things that turn men on". I understand that tastes differ, but guess people, who composed this article are a little bit mental. So.... below 14 unexpected things (according to the article) that men consider to be sexy:

1. No make up.
Sexologist Mo Kurimbokus believes that there is absolutely no need for cosmetics, because when woman is without make up you can see her natural beauty. Besides most men like passionate kisses, but to kiss a woman with lipstick is gross. Thus make up doesn’t attract men on contrary pushes them away. (OK, no one says you should look like this:but some make up is absolutely necessary!)

2. Wrinkles

According to the same Mo Kurimbokus wrinkles attract man because they make them think woman is experienced, thus great in bed. ( Just brilliant!)

3. A pot belly

We all dream to look like models on a catwalk, but do not worry if you don’t. Men are absolutely crazy when woman has a pot belly. This is so natural. Besides if a woman doesn’t have a perfect body man also does not maintain any complexes regarding his appearance.

Here dialogue from "Pulp fiction" comes to mind:

Fabienne: I was looking at myself in the mirror.

Butch Coolidge: Uh-huh?

Fabienne: I wish I had a pot.

Butch Coolidge: You were lookin' in the mirror and you wish you had some pot?

Fabienne: A pot. A pot belly. Pot bellies are sexy.

Butch Coolidge: Well you should be happy, 'cause you do.

Fabienne: Shut up, Fatso! I don't have a pot! I have a bit of a tummy, like Madonna when she did "Lucky Star," it's not the same thing.

Butch Coolidge: I didn't realize there was a difference between a tummy and a pot belly.

Fabienne: The difference is huge.

Butch Coolidge: You want me to have a pot?

Fabienne: No. Pot bellies make a man look either oafish, or like a gorilla. But on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a big, perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, I'd wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it.

Butch Coolidge: You think guys would find that attractive?

Fabienne: I don't give a damn what men find attractive. It's unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.)

4.Skin Patches

Most women hate skin patches, but men find it very exciting. Sexologist Mo Kurimbokus explains: “Most men become excited when woman looks natural.

Skin patches remind him of a baby his beloved one gave birth to , and besides only he knows about skin patches and this really turn him on”.

5.A phone call from a drunken woman

After a party with your girlfriends you call your man to tell him you had fun and missed him. Simon Moore, dr of psychology in Metropolitan University is sure: “ If you call your man when you drunk it means you trust him”. Besides drunk woman can’t control herself and it really turns on. ( It really turns on when someone has fun without you and than calls u in the middle of the night just to says some stupid shit!)

6.Healthy appetite in food and drinks.Dr Simon says that if a woman doesn’t think of what other people think about her means she is very confident. And it presupposes that in bad she is also going to be insatiable and confident.

7.Everyday underwear

Psychotherapist Paula Hall thinks that men like to see everyday underwear, because then they think that sex was not planned by a woman and despite this they managed to have sex with her.

8. Fucked up makeup

Paula Hall explains that it turns men on because they think that a woman just got out of the bed where she was having sex all night long. This remind them of an inexpressible feeling they have after sex. ( Excuse me, what about paragraph #1, mo make up at all? )

9. Woman with bare feet.

There is no doubt that high heels are sexy, but psychologist Ingrid Collins is sure that bare feet are like a special hint on nakedness and even its promise. If a woman walks bare feet it is an evidence of her rival against rules of society and naturalness, and this stimulate men’s desires and fantasies.

10. Black hair roots and body hair

Perfect hairstyle and absence of body hair are attractive, but don’t we put too much afford to look so good? Paula explains that men are attracted by a certain carelessness. An image of bad girls their mamas warned them about . So do not worry about some extra hair on your body : it increases your sexual attraction.

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11. When woman doesn’t understand a sense of a joke.

Dr Mo thinks that intellectual women scare men away. A little bit stupid women seem to be more easy going. And men can relax because they do not have show all the time theirs high level of intelligence.

12. Ability to communicate with other’s people children

Mo explains: “ when woman plays with children it gives that man hints that she will become a good mother, and remind him of his own mother’s care and love”

13.Baggy clothes instead of sexy lingerie.

Ingrid says: “ Baggy clothes show that woman is self-confident and relaxed and men ALWAYS CONSIDER IT TO BE SEXY”.

14. Extra fat on hips and belly and low waist tight jeans.

You think that if you do not have a perfect body you should not wear tight clothes? But Paula says that some extra fat hanging over your jeans is very sexy. It shows your fertility and ability to have kids.

All these doctors must be insane!

I can agree that some men just do not pay attention at the things mentioned above, but to believe in that they found it to be sexy... no way. And if it is really so, why the authors of the article instead of a picture of a fat, drunk, hairy woman with no makeup dressed in baggy clothes put picture of two kissing lesbians?