Fear and hate in the Ukrainian hospital: peculiarities of the national healthcare

Last Monday I woke up and realized that I could hardly open my left eye because it was swollen. I looked at the mirror and instead of my own reflection I saw somebody who looked pretty much like Quasimodo. My eyelid was red and puffy and there was some sort of pimple or little wound that reminded a mosquito bite on it. I was scared to death but decided not to panic but better hide it asap because I had to go to work. Somehow with the help of make up, long fridge and sunglasses that I wore despite the rainy weather I succeeded so no one could tell, but it still hurt a lot.

When I came to work I asked my colleagues where should I go( I live here just for a couple of month and have no idea where the hospitals are) and one of them suggested to take me to the clinic, because it looked like something serious.

The nightmare began when we arrived to the local hospital. The doctors (skinny old witch) hardly looked at me (didn’t examine, just glanced) and start yelling that I’m going to die that pus will go to my brain and I will have meningitis as soon as I go outside and that I should be hospitalized for at least 5 days! I was shocked and about to lose conscious when we arrived to the clinic which appeared to be skin-and sex transmitting diseases dispensary (the nastiest place in the world, even if you do not anything serious when going there, in the best case after a couple days you will have scabies and lice. I was wondering how the doctors and nurses there are still alive - the answer is simple: every day they drink rectified spirit intake for prophylaxis and for fun.

Rectified spirit: drink this much every day!

A fat ass slut who appeared to be the chief doctor at the dispensary didn’t look at me at all like it did not matter what was swollen my eyelid or my pussy, start yelling, said I should stay in the hospital and there is no other way out. Despite the fact that my boyfriend was telling me that I just can’t stay in one place with the people who have AIDS, syphilis and scabies, and that there should be another option, despite the fact that I observes a “love scene” between a dud who’s face reminded an Abdominal Dr. Phibes(guess he was a permanent patient at that place, so if I’d stay I’d look the same) and his girlfriend(who seemed not to care at all that all his face was covered in some weird wounds) that made me wanna puke, I was ready to stay and to donate money to “Hospital Fund”( an obligatory act of “free” will common for Ukrainian establishments of all sorts) but luckily I was wearing my winter shoes and had no slippers to stay at the there, so the nurse told me I should go to the market to buy some (oh, god! What about meningitis I was going to have if I go outside?)… That is how I managed to escape.

"Love means never having to say you ugly". Abdominal Dr. Phibes.

I called my parents and they said I should come home and they‘d take me to the doctor they know, so the same day I took a train and went to my hometown.

I do not know what caused such a traumatic effect fear or antibiotics but when on Tuesday I came to the doctor (who used to be my parents neighbor and knew me since I was born) my eye was almost back to normal. She examined it, made all necessary analysis, said that it is just a minor infection and that nothing is going to happen to me I should just take antibiotics and vitamins for 3 days and will be completely back to normal and let me go home.

The only reason the other doctors made me go to the dispensary was that it is one of the ways for them to make money and I was a perfect victim: ready to pay for everything they tell me.

All you need is lots of cash!

The funny thing: on the very same day I saw a report on the national news channel where the Minister of Health of Ukraine said that it is a common case when on purpose doctors and pharmacists make wrong diagnoses and make people buy expensive medicine they do not really need, because that is one of the ways for than to make extra money.

Woman as explained by engeneers

Woman - basic characteristics
How we function


What a man need...

Presents for Women Day

Last week all people in Ukraine celebrated the 8th of March - International Women Day ( for some reason in the Soviet times it was called international, though no one except for the soviet people celebrated it:-). For a Soviet woman it was the only chance to get a breakfast in bed and the only opportunity to see her husband cleaning the house and doing dishes. And of course traditionally all women were given tulips.

Soviet Union collapsed many years ago, but the holiday survived. And because this year it was on Sunday, all the people start to celebrate it on Friday(and some even on Thursday) and Monday was a day off too. 4 days of "official" drinking and one bouquet of tulips... that is what most women got. But some appear to be more lucky...

On Tuesday morning when everyone get back to work we found out that our managing Director was fired and a new one is the company's owner ( who is 70 year old I guess) 25 year old wife. What a surprise for everyone! Guess 3 tulips was not enough for her.

Thing that turn men on?

Yesterday I had absolutely nothing to do at work ( In fact I did, just didn't feel like doing anything:) so was searching on the internet for some funny shit.
On one of the Russian websites I found and "extraordinary" article: " Totally unexpected things that turn men on". I understand that tastes differ, but guess people, who composed this article are a little bit mental. So.... below 14 unexpected things (according to the article) that men consider to be sexy:

1. No make up.
Sexologist Mo Kurimbokus believes that there is absolutely no need for cosmetics, because when woman is without make up you can see her natural beauty. Besides most men like passionate kisses, but to kiss a woman with lipstick is gross. Thus make up doesn’t attract men on contrary pushes them away. (OK, no one says you should look like this:but some make up is absolutely necessary!)

2. Wrinkles

According to the same Mo Kurimbokus wrinkles attract man because they make them think woman is experienced, thus great in bed. ( Just brilliant!)

3. A pot belly

We all dream to look like models on a catwalk, but do not worry if you don’t. Men are absolutely crazy when woman has a pot belly. This is so natural. Besides if a woman doesn’t have a perfect body man also does not maintain any complexes regarding his appearance.

Here dialogue from "Pulp fiction" comes to mind:

Fabienne: I was looking at myself in the mirror.

Butch Coolidge: Uh-huh?

Fabienne: I wish I had a pot.

Butch Coolidge: You were lookin' in the mirror and you wish you had some pot?

Fabienne: A pot. A pot belly. Pot bellies are sexy.

Butch Coolidge: Well you should be happy, 'cause you do.

Fabienne: Shut up, Fatso! I don't have a pot! I have a bit of a tummy, like Madonna when she did "Lucky Star," it's not the same thing.

Butch Coolidge: I didn't realize there was a difference between a tummy and a pot belly.

Fabienne: The difference is huge.

Butch Coolidge: You want me to have a pot?

Fabienne: No. Pot bellies make a man look either oafish, or like a gorilla. But on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a big, perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, I'd wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it.

Butch Coolidge: You think guys would find that attractive?

Fabienne: I don't give a damn what men find attractive. It's unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.)

4.Skin Patches

Most women hate skin patches, but men find it very exciting. Sexologist Mo Kurimbokus explains: “Most men become excited when woman looks natural.

Skin patches remind him of a baby his beloved one gave birth to , and besides only he knows about skin patches and this really turn him on”.

5.A phone call from a drunken woman

After a party with your girlfriends you call your man to tell him you had fun and missed him. Simon Moore, dr of psychology in Metropolitan University is sure: “ If you call your man when you drunk it means you trust him”. Besides drunk woman can’t control herself and it really turns on. ( It really turns on when someone has fun without you and than calls u in the middle of the night just to says some stupid shit!)

6.Healthy appetite in food and drinks.Dr Simon says that if a woman doesn’t think of what other people think about her means she is very confident. And it presupposes that in bad she is also going to be insatiable and confident.

7.Everyday underwear

Psychotherapist Paula Hall thinks that men like to see everyday underwear, because then they think that sex was not planned by a woman and despite this they managed to have sex with her.

8. Fucked up makeup

Paula Hall explains that it turns men on because they think that a woman just got out of the bed where she was having sex all night long. This remind them of an inexpressible feeling they have after sex. ( Excuse me, what about paragraph #1, mo make up at all? )

9. Woman with bare feet.

There is no doubt that high heels are sexy, but psychologist Ingrid Collins is sure that bare feet are like a special hint on nakedness and even its promise. If a woman walks bare feet it is an evidence of her rival against rules of society and naturalness, and this stimulate men’s desires and fantasies.

10. Black hair roots and body hair

Perfect hairstyle and absence of body hair are attractive, but don’t we put too much afford to look so good? Paula explains that men are attracted by a certain carelessness. An image of bad girls their mamas warned them about . So do not worry about some extra hair on your body : it increases your sexual attraction.

.

11. When woman doesn’t understand a sense of a joke.

Dr Mo thinks that intellectual women scare men away. A little bit stupid women seem to be more easy going. And men can relax because they do not have show all the time theirs high level of intelligence.

12. Ability to communicate with other’s people children

Mo explains: “ when woman plays with children it gives that man hints that she will become a good mother, and remind him of his own mother’s care and love”

13.Baggy clothes instead of sexy lingerie.

Ingrid says: “ Baggy clothes show that woman is self-confident and relaxed and men ALWAYS CONSIDER IT TO BE SEXY”.

14. Extra fat on hips and belly and low waist tight jeans.

You think that if you do not have a perfect body you should not wear tight clothes? But Paula says that some extra fat hanging over your jeans is very sexy. It shows your fertility and ability to have kids.

All these doctors must be insane!

I can agree that some men just do not pay attention at the things mentioned above, but to believe in that they found it to be sexy... no way. And if it is really so, why the authors of the article instead of a picture of a fat, drunk, hairy woman with no makeup dressed in baggy clothes put picture of two kissing lesbians?

Don't judge too quickly...

15 Good Things

Good expressions that are supposed to comfort me when I'm mad or confused... Never work in reality but sound really good:-)

1.I love you not for who you are, but for who i become when with you. ( A psycho micro when we fight? Great!)
2. There is no man who worth your tears and the one who is will never make you cry.
3. Only because he doesn't love you like you want to it doesn't mean he doesn't love you with all his heart. ( But way things can't be the way i want it?)
4. A true friend is the one who holds your hand and feels your heart biting. (My best friend moved to Canada and claimed she is a lesbian to stay there...)
5.The worst way to miss a man is to be with him in one room and realize he will never be yours.
6. Never stop smiling even when you are upset: someone may fall in love with your smile.
( When I'm upset I turn into a dragon, have anyone ever seen a dragon who smiles?)
7.Maybe in this world you are just a small person, but fore someone you are the whole world ( If repeat it 100 times a day for 10 years maybe it'll work;)
8. Do not waste your time on somebody who doesn't want to spend it with you. (Might be very useful for maniac B.)
9. Perhaps god wants us to meet "wrong" people with the only person: to be grateful when we finally meet the one! (OK, I'm ready to be grateful, so where the f%&*^ is "the one"?)
10. Do not cry because it is over, smile that it had happened in your life! (Smiling dragon, not again!)
11. There always gonna be people who will hurt you, but his is not the reason to lose faith in all the people but just to be a little bit more careful. ( Promise to be careful, while hurting those who'd hurt me:-)
12. Try to become better and to understand yourself before you meet somebody and hope that this person will understand you. (Not so easy, so still hope to meet someone who's gonna understand and explain it to me:)
13. All the best hings happen spontaneously. (As well as all disasters in my life)
14. Everything that is done is done for the better. (Yeah, sometimes it is good to be expelled from school)
15.If in the evening a woman gives a key from her heart to a man in the morning she is going to change the lock.

Colored is better?

My crazy neighbor B.(see photo 1) is obsessed with the idea that his girlfriend (photo 2) is going to leave him if her ex African boyfriend will come back from Nigeria. I spent hours trying to convince B. that ( I can tell and everyone else can she) his precious "Princess"(that is how he calls her) loves him. But nothing really works: every time "Princess" goes to work maniac B. comes up with new insane ideas like "Princess" wants to marry B. just to move to the States, but her master plan is to bring her ex-lover there too and kill B... So basically every day he calls me to ask if he should kick her out now or should he wait until they get married. Very complicated situation, but B. is crazy, what can I say:)
I used to convince him that there is nothing to worry about...but after watching this video I'm not so sure anymore! Maybe colored is really better?

Russian blondes

Hilarious dialogue of two Russian chicks trying to pump up a tire!

- What are you doing out there?
- Cant’ you see? Pumping up a tire!
- You’re fool, you’ll never manage to do it this way!
- That is why?
- Windows in your car are open!

- Ah….

Enjoy the video:-)

Ukrainian Champions

l’Heure Verte

The green hour (l’heure verte) in 19th century France time between 5 and 7 p.m. when people used to have a glass of absinthe.

25 Random Things about me!

1. When my parents picked up a name for me they wanted it to be "universal" so I feel at home in every country. Back than they already knew I’d leave my homeland!
2. As a child, the most frequently applied word I heard on my regard was "Drakoshka".
3. This was perhaps well deserved since I was crying and shouting all the time demanding all attention! My sister confessed that her childhood dream was to bit the shit out of me but there was a possibility that for doing this our parents would bit the shit out of her. So she never did:-)
4. I adore Lily of the Valley and narcissus, because when i was little I was always getting heaps of them for my birthday.
5. At the age of seven my best friend and I established a funeral agency for animals. We buried a couple of kittens, a dog, a pigeon and two sparrows.
6. At the age of 15 month my parents took me to the lake and all out family almost drowned. My mom says I was afraid to go back into the water again, but not for the long time! At the age 2 they took me to the sea! It was love at first sight!
7. The feeling must have been mutual. I still love rivers, lakes, puddles, rain and the ocean, of course. I imagine I was a fish in one of the past lives.
8. "Lets cut it off" - was the usual answer from dad when I complained something hurt. Taught me not to complain. To him.
9. I have an elder sister who always acts like she is "a little miss perfect" and my parents expected me to be the same or even better. If I embodied all their about me, I would already be a loyal wife and a mother of 3 adorable kids. Note I’m only 22, but for Ukraine I’m a hopeless spinster;-)
10. My parents almost drowned me when I was 15 month old. At the age of 9 i was hit by the bus, two years later I broke my arm, broke my leg at 15 and my finger at 21. Some may say I’m not lucky. Hell no!
11. As a child i used to travel a lot with my family. And I think that this is one of the best things in the world. Currently I’m stuck in Ukraine, but hope not for a long time. Still, the "places to go before I die" list is veeeery looooooooooong.
12. And because I'm going to die before i get old i have to hurry.
13. Most of my friends think I'm a weird because I survive eating chocolate, cookies and drinking coca cola. Thought it is not true: a piece of cheese is a necessary part of my everyday meal!
14. I enjoy enormously making things with my hands and drawing and painting. 15. The first book I read was a story of a rabbit picking apples. I still remember the pictures.
16. I always thought that the time I realized I got lost in the woods aged 6, together with my sister and her friend, was the scariest moment of my life…Now I know it wasn't.
17. I love sending and getting letters and postcards. There is too little space for it left in our emails and sms world :( unfortunately I do not remember the last time i did)
18. I want to move to Thailand in autumn 2009. Hope it works out!
19. As a kid I used to eat leaves from different trees and the apricot-leaves were my absolute favorite. My parents were worried about me. The kindergarten teachers were worried about my parents' economy. I was only worried when the winter was coming.
20. I often think about writing a book or making a movie . Before I go to sleep I have a million of ideas and images in my head such a shame they vanish when morning comes.
21. I want to learn to speak Swedish. Why? No one knows! To be able to watch Bergman's movies without subtitles? Maybe! :-)
22. I do not like people much!
23. I could never quite watching horror films even if afterwards at night I’m scared to death to go to pee.
24. I want to meet count Dracula someday.
25. I still do not know what I who to be when grow up.

I Died for Beauty

I died for beauty but was scarce

Adjusted in the tomb,

When one who died for truth was lain

In an adjoining room.

He questioned softly why I failed?

"For beauty," I replied.

"And I for truth,--the two are one;

We brethren are," he said.

And so, as kinsmen met a night,

We talked between the rooms,

Until the moss had reached our lips,

And covered up our names.

by Emily Dickinson

"Soviet Army" Day

Back to the Soviet times February 23 was Red Army Day official state holiday...now it's just another reason for everyone to get drunk. Monday? No one cares! CHEERS!

Lesbians shortage?

You are from a former Soviet country and you want to move to Canada? Not a problem! You can ask for the refuge in the country if claim ...YOU ARE LESBIAN or a Jew!

And that is exactly what my school girlfriend did to stay there (though she is not a lesbian and even not a bisexual but who cares:-)

At first she wanted to marry someone ...but the guy wanted 10 000 USD for this little favour. No way!

So her lawer advised her to claim that she is a lesbian! And ta-dam - it worked!

Do not get me wrong I'm really happy that her "childhook dream" came try and now she is Canadian resident! But WTF???? Is Canadian government so desperate for people to stay there? Any People? Or is it that there are too many single Lesbians who want to find solemates? Guess the answer will remain a mystery to me.

Bon Appétit!!!!!!!!

Ukraine...undiscovered pearl of Europe... known for it's hospitality....



Ukrainian people are really proud of their national cuisine and when have any foreign visitors they try to turn an ordinary dinner( lunch, breakfast!) into a royal feast though it might not end well...



Last summer my american boyfriend and i were travelling round Ukraine going from city to city , from town to town, discover (or re-discover) Ukraine. That was really fun. Most of the times we stayed at hotels but sometimes with my friends.



When we went to Odessa I suggested we stay with my school best friend Jane. Overnight trip on the train from Kiev and we are there. I was so worn out that my greatest desire was to take a shower and this was exactly what i did when we finaly arrived to Jane's apartment. Meanwhile Jane's mom (perhaps trying to show famous ukrainian hospitality ;) offered my b-friend a steak (ummm ... yammmy!!!). I know Jane for many years and a very first thing I've learned - NEVER EAT WHAT HER MOM COOKS!!!!!!! Most of the time it tastes gross but it also might be dangerous for your health!!!!!!



My poor sweetheart...he didn't know that:-(



He noticed that his steak looked ok, tasted a little bit weird... but it was only after i went out of the shower, he saw tiny worms on the plate...


No need to describe his reaction... and now ( tram pam pam!!!) awesome Jane's mom reply (Note: she wasn't surpised at ALL) : "I do not understand why he is mad, this worms must come from sweet cherries!":-))))))))


Welcome to Ukraine and Bon Appétit!!!!!!!!

Happy soviet kids!

Really cool vintage poster from my mom's "Happy soviet childhood"

Says:

For kids it is

NECESSARY

To brush thier teeth

THOROUGLY!